Mary
- admin1356
- Oct 4, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Nov 4, 2024
“We’re not all the same. We might deal with it in different ways.”
Mary Sio’s story is one of resilience, love, and the relentless commitment of a caregiver. When her husband George was diagnosed with early onset dementia, their lives were irrevocably changed. The man she describes as a shy and thoughtful partner, who once thrived in his demanding job as an area engineer, was faced with a reality neither of them could have anticipated. In a country like New Zealand, where support for caregivers, especially in Pacific communities, is limited, Mary’s journey sheds light on the urgent need for better assistance and resources.
George, known for his dry humor and tendency to crack jokes even in serious moments, found himself struggling with the cognitive demands of his job. The early signs were subtle—a missed detail here, a repeated question there—but as they accumulated, it became clear that something was wrong. Mary, ever the observant partner, was the first to notice these changes. When the diagnosis of Lewy Body Dementia came, it was a shock that rippled through their family.
“We sat in the car for a bit and thought, what? I looked at him and said, ‘nah, they must have got it wrong,’” Mary recalls. The disbelief was palpable, the reality too harsh to accept. George, who had always been sharp and capable, was suddenly confronted with a condition that would strip away pieces of him, bit by bit.
For Mary, this diagnosis meant stepping into the role of a caregiver, a responsibility she never imagined she would bear so early. Her days are now filled with gentle reminders and constant vigilance. She has learned to navigate George’s good and bad days, adapting to his changing needs with a patience and grace that belie the emotional toll it takes on her.
“It’s new to me,” she admits, “I learned to just bite my tongue and get on with it.” Despite the challenges, she remains his steadfast support, balancing the delicate line between maintaining his dignity and ensuring his safety. The small victories—like getting George to enjoy simple pleasures such as going for a coffee or a walk on the beach—are moments of respite in the midst of an unpredictable journey.
Mary and George’s story is not just about coping with a diagnosis; it’s about the strength of a family bound by love and the importance of community support. Their daughters, like many Pacific families, have rallied around them, offering help and checking in regularly. But Mary knows that not all caregivers are as fortunate. She speaks with empathy about the need for connection and understanding among those who are walking a similar path.
“We’re not all the same. We might deal with it in different ways,” she says, recalling a conversation with another caregiver. Mary’s openness and willingness to share her own struggles and triumphs highlight the isolation many caregivers feel. It’s not enough to provide care for the person with dementia; the caregivers themselves need support, understanding, and resources.
In New Zealand, the support for caregivers of dementia patients, particularly in Pacific communities, is lacking. Mary’s story is a call to action. It’s a reminder that behind every diagnosis is a family grappling with fear, hope, and an uncertain future. It’s a plea for more resources, for culturally appropriate support systems, and for recognition of the unique challenges faced by families like hers.
Mary and George’s participation in “The Restaurant That Makes Mistakes,” a program designed to raise awareness about dementia, is one way they are trying to make a difference. For George, it’s an opportunity to show that despite his diagnosis, he is still capable, still the same person in many ways. For Mary, it’s about advocating for more visibility and support for those living with dementia and their caregivers.
Their story is one of hope amidst uncertainty, of love that endures through adversity. It’s a story that needs to be heard, so that families like Mary’s receive the support they need and deserve.
YOUR DONATION will HELP US HELP OURSELVES.
Getting help needed is a living challenge for the group behind Young Onset Dementia Collective.
If we wait for Government, Ministry of Health or under-funded agencies, it will be too little too late for our people.
For many the situation is dire. Help is needed NOW so we made a collective conscious decision to do everything we can to help ourselves. Spouses, partners, carers of people living with younger onset dementia have real life reasons driving combined determination.
Help us keep minds engaged and spirits lifted for those affected. Plus support carers in their financial, mental and wellbeing journey.
